Drug Rehab in Utah
  Utah Young Adult Treatment Programs
  by NewRoadsTreatment.com

DBT in Recovery: Interpersonal Effectiveness

DBT in Drug RehabGood afternoon, my dearest New Roads family and recovery bloggers!

Last week in DBT we looked at "wise mind" and the skills that go into being core mindful. The three "what" skills of observe, describe, and participate were taught in conjunction with the three "how" skills of non-judgmental stance, one-mindful, and effectiveness. I stepped out on my porch with the birds and coffee in hand, and began to use my core mindfulness skills to transition my thoughts into the next skill set of Interpersonal Effectiveness. Most of you know that my morning time on my porch is where my inspirations come from for these posts. "Hhhhmmm...Interpersonal Effectiveness...my relationships with others...what do I want to present...how do I want to present it...hhmmmmmm.? Attending to relationships, balancing priorities vs. demands, balancing the wants-to-shoulds, and using build mastery in my relationships while keeping, establishing, and maintaining self-respect...hhmmm...yeah? Great stuff, I should have lots to say, but zero's on creative insight. Well, hopefully, as I use my wise mind, it will come to me," I thought to myself. So, I go back inside and continue with my regular, structured, morning routine.

Fresh cup of coffee, start a load of laundry and fold the ones I did yesterday, make my bed, catch up on work emails, pick out my clothes for the day, and have a cigarette pondering when I'm going to quit. Check! I have just enough time to step into my library ( aka the bathroom...LOL! ), before I have to hop in the shower. One of my guilty pleasures (besides smoking, which I intend to quit), is reading People magazine. As I engulf myself and try to stay current on my entertainment news perusing the latest who's with who, I think to myself, "Daaamn, these people could use some interpersonal effectiveness skills!:)" Lightbulbs, fireworks, dancing fairies in my head, and BAM!, here in glossy, flashy, enticing print, is my DBT lesson to impart! Lol! I crack myself up!!! :D

As I flip through the pages of glitz, glam, dysfunction, and despair among America's famous folks and couples, the Lindsay Lohans, the Amanda Bynes, and the Olsen twins, I am also struck by the ones that are doing well and seem to use Interpersonal effectiveness skills.

This week I am introducing this skill set and highlighting situations for using interpersonal effectiveness.

Attending to relationships- don't let hurts and problems build up, use skills to head off problems, and resolve conflicts before they get overwhelming. Like Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert. She is easy to get a rise out of according to Blake, and so they work out their issues and operate with total honesty letting each other go through one another's phones to head off problems.

Balancing priorities vs. demands- reduce or put off low-priority demands, ask others for help, say "no" when necessary, and when there is not enough to do, create structure and responsibilities. Like Brad Pitt taking care of Angelina Jolie after her double mastectomy. Her health is more important than trips to Africa or movie deals. She is telling people no and creating time to be with her family.

Balancing the wants-to-shoulds- looking at what you want to do and what you should do and having a healthy balance of both, getting yourself taken seriously, getting others to help you do things, and saying "no" to unwanted requests. Like Catherine Zeta-Jones Douglas, recognizing when her Bipolar is getting bad and checking into a mental health facility to take time for herself and stabalize. Meanwhile, Michael takes charge after he had his battle with cancer, tending to Cathy, and now is taking on the acting role of Liberace.

Building mastery and self-respect- interact in ways that make you feel competent and effective, not helpless, stand up for yourself, your opinions, your beliefs, and follow your own wise mind. Like the Boston bombing survivors. Many of them lost limbs, but are returning to their lives with radical acceptance and doing exactly what they did before, even ballroom dancing. They provide inspiring stories of hope and healing.

Let's take the initiative this week to validate our clients when they are in situations to use their interpersonal effectiveness skill set. Present them teaching and coaching opportunities for their own interpersonal sucesses. Remember...PRACTICE, PRACTICE. and VALIDATE, VALIDATE!

Thanks ya'll! Have a great week!

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